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Friday, February 20, 2009
LIFE AND ITS CHOICES
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you had to make the choice between doing what's right and what's easy?

Honestly, how many people would choose to do the right thing instead of taking the easy way out? We know the answer in our hearts, and I guess that's because sometimes, doing the right thing will mean being pushed to limits beyond what people can ever expect.

My life has been quite violently shaken for the past weeks, and some of my dear friends out there know what I've been going through. I am truly grateful for those of you who have given me the level of understanding and support beyond what I expected.

I have been living in two different worlds. The first is this beautiful place which we all live in now, while the other... I do not wish to state its true name, but I shall call it a world of double edge.

A brief description of this double edge world - a place where I have gained great experience, and learned lessons of outstanding value. A place where I did so many things which I never thought I would ever do in my life, things which I initially thought were not possible. And on the other hand, a place which I have also been inflicted with pain which I dare say I have never felt before.

In this double-edge world, everything is different. In there, circumstances are such that I am unable to be my true self.

Just yesterday, one of my beloved friends was asking another,"Who is Yang Heng?"

Don't get the wrong idea of this friend of mine. She is one sweet girl and only meant it as a joke describing how long we hadn't met each other. But you know what? As I was about to give her an answer to that question, I realized that I, unlike before, did not have one.


WHAT IS TRUE HAPPINESS?

So many books and movies have this major question included in them, and I have finally found my answer.

Whenever I set foot into my house after yet another week of journeying in the world of double edge, I am instantly overwhelmed by sheer bliss. Nothing can feel more right. The joy of being in the presence of the people you love most - seriously, what more could one ask for?

Yesterday, I finally met up with some of my dear friends who I used to go out with very frequently, but have not seen since I entered the world of double edge. You know what was amazing? I expected myself to begin rambling to them upon seeing them, considering the endless number of things I wanted to tell them. When we finally met each other, however, I didn't feel like talking so much anymore. Instead, I somehow felt as though we were back in those times when we still met up often. Even though we hadn't met for a long time, I still knew they were the same good old buddies I used to have. Things didn't feel as different as I expected - the familiar feeling of being with them came rushing back to me at once. They probably thought that it was strange that I wasn't talking much. What they didn't know was this - I was very happy just being there with them. It mattered not what we were doing or eating. It mattered not how much or how little we were speaking. I was just grateful that I was with them - and that was all that mattered to me then.

Naturally, they wanted me to tell them details of what was going on in my life in the world of double edge over the past weeks. And tell them I did, though I only touched on the very surface of what I really went through. I would never be able to tell them in words what it's really like in the world of double edge. How I wish I could swap bodies with my friends for a while to let them feel what it's really like. But like I said, I was contented enough just being with them, so letting them have a rough idea of what the world of double edge is like sufficed for me.

By the way, we met up at the mall Causeway Point, and there were a few popular Taiwanese artistes giving a performance which, needless to say, attracted a large crowd. My friends were intrigued and were watching the artistes for quite a while. But guess what. As they were watching the Taiwanese, I doubt they were aware that I was watching them. The reason is simple - my friends hold far more meaning to me. Come on, watching artistes entertaining a crowded mall when I can indulge in the beautiful sight of my friends instead? You gotta be kidding me.

How I wish I had more time. In just a blink of an eye, it was time to part with them again. I do not know when I will be able to spare time to see them again - I have to spend a huge amount of time with my family. So many loved ones, so little time. I choose not to perceive this as cruel, I choose to learn something from this.

I am thankful that my life is swarmed with beautiful people. To the rest of my friends, rest assured that I will not forget you and all that you have done for me in difficult times. I want to tell you all something: I chose the path of the world of double edge not because I want to be some hero who always chooses to do the right thing. Neither did I choose it for fame, reputation, or pride. I chose to take this path in hope of becoming a better person, and to understand more about this thing called hardship.

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